It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
