1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
