she smelled like a LAN party
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize