if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This is the high leading the old right now
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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