screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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