Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
