I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
