he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
