I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
How does it feel to date your dad?
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