Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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