I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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