I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize