hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
