Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
