I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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