The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
