Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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