I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
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You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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