im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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