dude i'm inner monologue high
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
