Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
