If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize