it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
