she was so not down for the gang bang
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
im on a boat
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