For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
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Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
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I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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