i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
