he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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