when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
