I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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