i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
