so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need to sanitize my soul.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
