All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
