If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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