WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
