We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
