I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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