I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so let's talk penis.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
