what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
