Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm bleeding and have questions
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
