the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.