you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize