oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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