ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is