omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
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she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
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He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i've created a new STD.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic