we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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