Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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