piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
