Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
