he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
