office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
