He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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