Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
