Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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