Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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