The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
