I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize