Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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