we have officially lost it.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
