i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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