its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just invented taco cereal.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
